28 September 2004
Sheri knows just how to loosen people up for a presentation. I was joking
with her before mine this morning that she kept staring at me, and she'd
better not make faces at me during my talk. When I complained a second
time that she was still looking at me, she said, "Oh, I was just staring
at your breasts." It made me laugh but also a little self-conscious.
Posted at 1623.
My answering machine gets the weirdest calls. First it was James Earl
Jones... Today, I came home to one new message. There was no one on the
other end calling for me, as far as I could tell, as the only thing I
heard was someone singing, faintly in the background, "Head, shoulders,
knees, and toes, knees and toes!"
Posted at 2046.
25 September 2004
Juline saw Tom
Bergeron (the host of the new Hollywood Squares, in
case you didn't know) at lunch the other day and told me how great it is
to run into minor celebrities where she lives. Well, I can trump that.
Patrick and I were walking to the Carolina Theatre this afternoon while
wading our way through a throng of slightly-tipsy alumni clad in sky blue
and
pearls on their way back from the football game. Two women, wearing
identical red t-shirts with black musical notes on them, parted the
Carolina blue sea. One of them was also wearing peach pants, the horrific
color clash of which caused me to notice them. But her companion was none
other than Andie
MacDowell. After they passed, I turned to Patrick and
said, "Did you see her? That was Andie MacDowell." "Who?" "You know,
from
Four Weddings and a Funeral... and from St. Elmo's Fire." "Uh, whatever."
He did, however, notice that the red t-shirt was from the Wilco concert
today. I noticed that all the free L'Oreal and Revitalift don't make her
look in person like she does in publicity pictures. Fancy that.
Posted at 2120.
23 September 2004
Liz is my favorite person today. Turns out, she also had a Tandy computer
back in the 80s... you remember, the kind that plugs into your
TV and has no hard-drive but plays games from cartridges? It seems we
both had the same favorite game for this system... Canyon
Climber. In what other early computer game do you have to avoid being
shot by Indians, leap over goats, and avoid getting shat upon by giant
birds flying overhead?
Posted at 1105.
21 September 2004
John Edwards
eats
babies! OK, so he probably doesn't, but study the look on his face
and
tell me he doesn't think the kid he's holding could make some tasty
campaign trail mix.
Posted at 2041.
20 September 2004
Dave was bragging today that his leg hair keeps his legs warm in nippy
weather such as we had today. I, unfortunately, don't have leg hair to do
that. But, since I'm a girl, I suppose I have pantyhose to serve the same
purpose. Instead of using an evolutionarily advantageous trait, I shave
it all off and put on a new skin made out of nylon. Hmmm. It gives me
pause, yet I'm certainly not going to grow it all out and look like a
sporca 'ippie.
Posted at 1930.
16 September 2004
Mmmmmm... kitty litter.
Posted at 2237.
15 September 2004 - Happy Birthday Mom!
I googled you a cake:
Posted at 0945.
13 September 2004
Blog Special Edition!
Quotations from Erik the Crazy
Swede!
Because Erik doth protest too much, here's a compilation
of quotations from him for you to enjoy... I'll bet he doesn't know that
I save all my e-mails. :)
30 Jan 2004, on philology - "What? You mean you're not a dumbass,
fratguy-looking, buffoon? You're actually much better than I am???? I
feel so small, and insignificant, and inferior, and maybe I should
re-evaluate my goals in life...." FEEL MY WRATH PIG PHILOLOGIST!! FEEL
MY WRATH!!
30 Apr 2004, on partying - Two parties in the same night, my liver
has
just broken up with me and fled to Nigeria where he intends to join the
resistance and fight liver oppression wherever he finds it. Maybe he'll
send me a postcard to let me know how things are going. [...] I'll go
to your party provided I don't have to fight any gnomes and
goblins, or ward off some ill-tempered pixie trying to steal my magic
shoelaces. I've heard that's a growing problem in Durham, the magical
land of little people. I also heard that there is a federal incentive
to clean up the shoelace stealing pixies, and the national guard has
been issued a brand new set of magic wands and spellbound trashbags to
facilitate this process. Bush opted for the pixie-crushing steel boot,
but he was shot down by the sorcerers' committee in congress. Now he's
pissed and has vowed to outlaw witchcraft and any form of abnormal
small people. My rights as a little person are thus threatened and I
have to respond by killing all midgets, gnomes, goblins etc. with a
steel boot of my own to prove that not all little people are bad.
Hence I'm off to do some stomping. [...] I'm not drunk this morning, just
sleep deprivated. [...] My eyelids are shaking and I can't walk straight,
but don't try to fool me for a second, I know for a fact that Durham is full of Pixies and
the like....two suspicious looking kangaroos told me on the way to
school this morning. Then they stole my lunchbag and sold it for crack.
12 June 2004, on Troy - Did you see Troy? What the fuck? Did they
READ
the Iliad? Funny too how half the cast of Braveheart appeared in this
movie too. Must have been kind of like a ten year reunion for them.
Anyway, what the fuck is all I can say about that, hopefully when they
remake it in another 40 years or so they'll get it right.
26 Aug 2004, on himself - I am afterall a member of the cult of the
blade...the dominators, the warmongers etc. I am incapable of nurturing,
meaningful communication, and I require members of other genders to tell
me what is fashionable, culturally civilized, and pretty. Really the only
thing my kind is credited with being good at is war, domination, and
extermination, but everybody apparently whines when we exercise these
"ascribed" skills. What a bunch of hootnanny.
28 Aug 2004, on hangovers - Anyhoot, today I have a bad hangover,
it feels
like a Frenchman is marching around in my head with an accordion.
5 Sept 2004, on Roman skeletal remains - Where are the people?
Maybe
there were no people, and the Roman forum was in fact built by a society
of badgers, hell-bent on the subjugation of rabbits, and hence the
invasion of Gaul. The etymology of the Alps has been misunderstood, it
is not Alpine, it is Lapin, which everybody knows is French for rabbit.
Hence, evidence that the Roman badgers pushed beyond this barrier to
extinguish the lives of millions of little carrot-munching furballs. So
devastating was this invasion, that the French rabbits were reduced to
eating snails and mussles, a tradition that persists to this day.
8 Sept 2004, on himself again - Remember that I am a self-absorbed
narcissistic
megalomaniac, I cannot possibly notice when people have had enough and
therefore have to be told if I get annoying. Just tell me nicely though,
lest you damage my fragile ego.
9 Sept 2004, on fashion - There is such a wealth of makeover shows
I am
surprised I know what to do with myself. Perhaps a pink-striped shirt
with a brown pubic satchel will make me look just fab, provided I wear
split-toed shoes, lest it would be "outrageously" bad. This is just a
conspiracy by VH1 to get more footage for their upcoming shows "I love
2000".
12 Sept 2004, on work and play - People need to be able to just
laugh at
the world from time to time....or laugh at me while I laugh at the world,
as long as I don't have to hear about all the starving children in
Paraguay and the oppressed cow-less tribes of Bangladesh. I don't want to
solve the world's problems when I'm trying to relax.
12 Sept 2004, yet again on himself - I will simply declare that I
am the biggest and most glamorous celebrity personality our department
will have for over a decade. The Billy Idol of anthro if you will (and I
have the leather pants to back it up). I don't think anyone comes close
in sheer charisma and "it" factor.
Posted at 2041.
11 September 2004
Ah, the anomalous things you learn about people after a few beers. Dan
really enjoys singing loudly in the car to showtunes. He's Jean
Valjeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaan!
I just realized that when you get out of West Point, you are a lieutenant.
That makes him Lieutenant Dan. Couple that with Doctor Nic from the
Simpsons, and our little department is now a bizarre 70s roommate sitcom.
Posted at 0958.
I think I drank too much beer last night. After running several miles
this morning, I noticed that my legs and arms were almost frothy. I think there's beer
coming out of my pores.
Posted at 1338.
10 September 2004
Erika and I as the Turtleneck Bandits.
Posted at 0638.
6 September 2004
Some people run to clear their minds of crap that goes on in their
day-to-day lives. I, however, run because it's good for me. It makes me
horribly irritable while I'm running, but I feel quite good afterwards.
This means, though, that I probably shouldn't be running on a treadmill at
a crowded gym where the slightest annoyance can set me off. My pet peeve
is people on treadmills who don't freaking pick up their feet and make
squeaky-scuffy noises on the belt. Today was the worst, though. Out of a
row of 6 treadmills, I was on the second from the left. A guy got on the
one immediately to my right for no good reason. He then proceeded to walk
as slowly as humanly possible on the treadmill while doing waist twists,
arm circles, and overhead stretches at the same time. Now, the machines
are fairly close together and if this guy didn't have such stubby arms, he
would have hit me with his idiotic arm motions. I couldn't bear this, so
I had to
look to my left so that he was out of even my peripheral vision. But then
he started squeaking. It wasn't rhythmic, and it was hardly necessary.
Squeaking occasionally happens on treadmills, just like farting
occasionally happens. But you don't want either going on constantly right
next to you. Both can be prevented, and both are really rude.
Fortunately, Mr. Squeaky left within 15 minutes, so I only had to tolerate
him for that long. Grrrrr. I really just need my own gym in a little
soundproof room.
Posted at 1405.
5 September 2004
Driving up I-95 in Richmond today, on our way to H&M, Erika and I noticed
a Ramada hotel sign spelled wrong: it said Ramaad. We figured the sign
person was an idiot, but on the way back, we noticed that the southbound
sign actually said Armada. I didn't have time to take a camera phone
picture of either sign (and I couldn't find one on the web), but there
apparently is a
good
explanation for it.
Posted at 2324.
4 September 2004
What I learned from being the DD at last night's party: Classicists get
very huggy when drunk. Granted, I can't really talk, as I've been known
to cuddle a
Party
Ferret or
two
after imbibing a few.
Erik the Crazy Swede decided he would
nickname me Herpes, because he just couldn't seem to get rid of me all day
yesterday. Erin then commented that Erik should be nicknamed after a more
deadly disease, HIV. Then we could introduce ourselves as HIV and Herps.
Yuk yuk yuk.
And finally, all I have left to say is... DC Represent!!!!
Posted at 1601.
